I'm Just a Baby

I am guessing everyone has heard the audio with, "I'm just a baby." It it largely used over pet videos and videos of adult children wanting their parents to include them in vacations still. I find the latter one relatable and the first one adorable. There is something about the baby of the family that is always special. And my family also has a special baby, granted he is 24 and more successful than I am by miles haha. But that dynamic is always special.

I mean, who could not love that face and want to protect it? Matthew was definitely a cute lil guy, which made him get even more attention than one would expect as the baby. At first, it made me jealous as the eldest. But then I realized we could harness the cuteness. We could have Matthew ask people to buy brownies and lemonade from our yearly stand, and it was impossible for anyone to say no to him! He literally increased profits just by smiling. That smile must still work magic because I am pretty sure he makes more money than any of us cousins haha. Or perhaps it is the fact that he is wildly intelligent and brave enough to pave his own path - one that does not follow the societal norm we have all been trained to pursue.

When we were all growing up, we would have sleepovers at my Nana's. All sorts of games in the evening followed by a french toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon breakfast was the standard for us growing up. In an unspoken agreement, I helped Matthew win and have fun in any games. And the next morning he would give me his bacon. It always seemed like a fair trade to me, though it drove poor Hannah nuts haha.

In our adult life, I cannot ensure he wins and he enjoys his own bacon. However, we still have a good unspoken exchange of care. When my brother moved away and I was processing a loss, this baby of the family stepped up to fill a roll of a brother within proximity. Someone who would try something new with me (rock climbing), share lessons and dreams with me, and help me process loss. I set a goal to be more courageous following my divorce, but Matthew helped me with my baby steps into this characteristic. He gave me encouragement as I tried new things, faced my own faults, and helped me have some fun through it all. I cannot say I have fully given as much to him yet with this new pattern of exchange in adulthood. But I am always here to protect him and offer him that same safe space and encouragement to chase his goals, dreams, and desired growth. The more I write, the more I am convinced God outdid himself with the closest family members He gave me. And Matthew simply adds to that conviction! He will forever be the baby for me, but never just the baby.