Lover of the Unloved

The second person I decided to write about is someone who has the softest and most loving heart I have ever experienced. She is the individual who loves the unloved, fights for the disadvantaged, and always gives people the benefit of the doubt. She is the person who challenges me about just following my initial judgements and dismissive tendencies towards people I find difficult. And God really struck twice by also making her related to me! Hannah is another gift from God to make this roller coaster of life more enjoyable and safe.

I hate spiders, found rats scary, and struggle with people who are difficult. Hannah owns the cutest rats (all of whom I have come to love), protects spiders (so now I try not to kill them for her), and educates herself on how to love and help difficult people (now I have to grow here too). She is a person who practices what she preaches, give all of herself to the people and animals she loves, and has a knack for making the things around her beautiful. Due to her innate gifting of making beautiful things, I have someone who I feel encouraged by for attempting my own creative endeavors. If I want to make my own sunflower bouquet, Hannah will go with me! If I want to try a painting class, Hannah will go with me. And engaging with your creative side is truthfully restorative. I am incredibly thankful for the safe space and encouragement Hannah gives me for doing the difficult, restorative work that will be a consistent part of life.

Hannah, Matthew, and Trent also have offered me comic relief and sanity through the transitional years from being a kid to adult. Especially within the context of our shared family dynamics. The knowing looks, winks, and jokes have made some hard lessons and awkward times manageable! But, being that we are females, Hannah offers me extra empathy and reprieve here. We are fortunate to be a part of a loving and wonderful family, but it is honestly difficult to transition from "just one of the kids" to a contributing adult in America. Sometimes I still question if I am a contributing adult! Thankfully, Hannah's understanding and empathy gives me room to practice, fail, and grow here as well.

What is crazy about my relationship with Hannah is that we did not start off as the closest of cousins. We struggled with dynamics of being the eldest within our respective families and what that meant. She was also a professional button pusher from a young age and I have always been a person with big buttons and reactions. Although, Hannah was even better at pushing Trent's buttons when we were little haha. I cannot really say when everything changed, but we went from pushing each other's buttons to pushing everyone else's buttons together. And I am so thankful for that switch, the comedy it has brought, and the closeness it has afforded us! I am also thankful I was able to start understanding Hannah more - she sometimes pushes buttons to question your beliefs and help you shape your convictions. And actually, that is so helpful and admirable to me! Her questions and ability to point out my inconsistencies indicate a level of intelligence I respect and love. Hannah has truly helped me shape my beliefs far more than she knows.

I am thankful to have a cousin who is more like a sister. Someone who is beautiful inside and out, genuine, and vulnerable. A safe space who gives me the chance to practice those some traits. And someone who is brave enough to call me out and question my unconscious thoughts and patterns, even if it hits some of my buttons haha. May you always love the unloved and receive that same love back. May you continue to create beauty everywhere you go, and find people who notice and admire that beauty. I am so thankful for you Hannah Banana. Looking forward to another trip and more memories with you :)